She Refuses to Help Her Family Without a Written Agreement. Is She’s Wrong?

You know that things probably aren’t going too well if you won’t help out your family unless you have some guidelines in writing…

But family dynamics are complicated!

And this person seems like they’re really going through it with their loved ones.

But are they acting like an a**hole?

Take a look at their story and see what you think.

AITA for refusing to help my family without evidence of a written, e-mailed, or texted agreement?

“My family likes to assume I will do whatever they want.

I got a call at work once asking why I wasn’t at the airport to pick up my brother-in-law. Apparently they asked me to pick him up a few months ago. I asked them if they could provide me with an email or text where they told me the date, time, or flight number. Nope. That was the last straw. My mom and dad gave me s**t and tried to make me pay for his Uber.

So I sent my entire family and email followed up by a text. I would not be doing anything for any of them unless they had written confirmation that I had agreed to do so.

My dad has been awesome about it. He had to have cataract surgery last week. We spoke about it a month ago he then followed up with an email with the time, date, and location of the appointment. He also asked me to confirm that I had agreed to take him and pick him up. Easy peasy.

The rest of them have been a pain in the a**. My mom asked me if I could watch her and my stepdad’s dogs while they were out of town. I said yes just send me the information about your trip at least a month in advance so I can make sure to rearrange my plans. I got no further information.

Last weekend my boyfriend wanted to go to Banff. So we went. My mom called me on Thursday to ask where I was. I told her that I was in Banff. It became a huge deal because she was leaving Friday morning. Oops. I told her that I hadn’t made any arrangements for the dogs since she never told me when she needed them watched.

She said I was being an a**hole and that it had slipped her mind. I told her I would be back on Monday night and that she could kennel them or leave them with my sister until then. She said not to bother. She ended up just leaving them with my sister.

My sister is p**sed at me so I forwarded her a screenshot of the text where I agreed to watch the dogs as long as I got the requested information. I told her I would cut my trip short immediately if she could get my mom to show me when she sent me the information. I got a call from my mother telling me I was being difficult and that if I agree to do something I need to follow through.

I could provide dozens of examples of my family asking me for a favor and then giving me all the information I need to do it. But I could easily show you half a dozen times where they either claim that I agreed to do something but cannot provide proof or where they expect me to change my plans last minute because they forgot to tell me everything I needed to know.

I’m not going to change. If my 76 year old dad can bend his neck to tell me everything I need to know to help him so can everyone else.”