This Daughter-In-Law’s Helpful Gesture Was Taken All Wrong. Was She Wrong?

An adult good daughter comforts her sad elderly mother

One of the worst feelings in the world is when you genuinely try to help someone out and they take the gesture all wrong, feeling as if you’re belittling them instead.

OP has a good relationship with her mother-in-law, which is great! The only issue they have is that when she comes to stay, she sometimes rifles through OP’s drawers in search of something.

In doing so, they’ve both been a little embarrassed by what she’s encountered.

So, I have a really sweet MIL (DH’s mom) and we get along most of the time. However, when she visits our home I notice that she goes throw my drawers in the bedroom looking for a charger or something.

I find it a bit invasive and embarrassing especially when she opens the “wrong” drawer that would have personal.items in it like lingerie and then goes on to complain about how uncomfortable it is for her every single time.

We’ve gone back and forth on this and when I stated that she was wrong for even looking at personal stuff she said she got confused and didn’t know what drawer had the item she looked for.

DH suggested I should just bring her whatever she needs instead of having go inside and look herself but she never asks!.

So, OP decided to alleviate the stress and embarrassment by labeling her drawers.

Her mother-in-law, though, saw the gesture as her being infantilized and was so offended she went to stay with her other son and his wife instead.

So I decided to label my drawers…meaning I put a sign on every drawer to eliminate dear MIL’s confusion. for example I put “socks” sign on the sock drawer, then “lingerie” sign on the lingerie and underwear drawer, electronics, makeup drawer etc. you get the idea?.

The next time MIL visited she walked into the bedroom looking for something while I was in the kitchen cooking. Minutes later she came in with my husband asking about the signs I had on each drawer.

I told her I just labeled each drawer to end her confusion and help her find what she’s looking for quickly.

She looked offended and said that she was neither a small child nor stupid to be treated like this. I said I was really trying to help and also try to prevent her from seeing “stuff” that upset her in the past.

She got madder and kept arguing then left to stay at my BILs house.

OP’s brother-in-law thinks OP went too far, too, so she’s asking Reddit whether or not she should have gone about things differently.

BIL called and berated both DH and I and then DH lashed out saying I caused this mess and I needed to apologize.

Let’s hear what they have to say!

The top comment suggests that the mother-in-law was never confused, but enjoyed the excuse to snoop through their drawers.

Image Credit: Reddit

And this person for sure agrees!

Image Credit: Reddit

OP definitely could have gone farther if she had wanted to.

Image Credit: Reddit

Apparently this is a thing some mother-in-laws do?

Image Credit: Reddit

I mean, Reddit has taught us that you just never know.

Image Credit: Reddit

If you have a good relationship with your daughter-in-law, just be thankful, ladies. Don’t do this.

Her reaction seems like it’s over the top for some reason, for sure!