If you’re a woman who has always dreamed of being a mother, you know there’s not much that consumes you more than trying to make that happen.
That said, it can be all too easy to forget that your journey isn’t nearly as important to everyone else as it is to you, and also that people who are already mothers aren’t usually trying to make you feel less than.
If one of the women in this post had remembered those things, her relationship with her sister might not be headed for certain disaster.
OP and her sister grew up with unsupportive and even abusive parents, but since her sister is bisexual and their parents didn’t approve, so when they died, OP inherited all of their money.
So I am 25F and my sister, Ella is 31F. My husband = Tom and her husband = John.
Ella is bisexual and our parents were religious af. So when she brought home a gf in hs they kicked her out.
She never got an inheritance when our mum died.
The both of us had cut contact with our parents but I still decided to accept the money because I figured it’s the one good thing to come out of our abusive life so why not.
After the dust settled, OP’s sister and her husband came to talk to her about how desperate they are to try IVF one more time, but they don’t have the money – but when OP offered them half of the inheritance, they said they needed the entire thing.
The legal side of things were finalised a week ago.
Ella and John came to see me while Tom was at work and told me they wanted to talk about something important. They said that they had exhausted all of their ‘fertility’ money and didn’t have enough to try ivf again.
I could see where this was going so I just said “I’m sorry Ella, I understand. I was thinking about this as well and Tom thinks this is the right thing to do too. You should have half of the money, you deserve it”
John tells me that’s not what they wanted to talk about but that they wanted all of the money.
OP was surprised, and told them she’d planned to use the money to start a college fund for her own daughter – they had promised each other as kids that their own children wouldn’t have a hard time the way they did.
I’m a bit taken aback. Apparently half won’t be enough.
I tell them that I was going to use my part (or if she didn’t want the half, all of it) for my daughter’s college fund and another fund for her to use for whatever she wishes during her teen years.
I remind Ella that we always promised each other our children will be financially well off because we never had that growing up.
Where I live college is extremely expensive so despite my daughter being only 3 Tom and I wanted to start this for her.
Her sister got upset, claiming OP was rubbing her motherhood in her face. Her husband said the sister deserves the money because she was older, she took care of OP, and so she suffered more.
I tell Ella and John all of this and Ella is just very upset at this point. John is more willing to have a conversation though. She comes back from the kicthen and says i’m rubbing the fact that i’m a mother in her face. I’m angry by this point because I thought she loved my daughter like her own.
Ella said I was sabotaging her and that I owed her for looking after me when we were kids. John said since Ella “faced more struggles” she deserved it all despite knowing full well our parents hurt me regularly as well.
OP talked to her husband later and they agreed that they would not give them all of the money.
Now she’s wondering whether she’s being unreasonable, though, knowing how important motherhood is to her sister and that she herself doesn’t have any immediate need for the cash.
I was just not prepared to fight, my daughter needed my attention and I wanted Tom to be my side because Ella was acting aggressive.
I asked them to leave and called Tom. We discussed this again and agreed we shouldn’t give them the money. Ella calls me and I pick up and she tells me she has to try again and that her relationship is rocky because they’re frustrated they can’t have a kid. I told her I would not give her the entire amount and just hung up.
I feel guilty about all of this now but I don’t know if I should. Maybe since I don’t have an immediate use for the money I should have given it to her? Am I an a$$hole?
Is she being selfish? Does her sister deserve the money more, no matter what the law says?
Let’s hear what Reddit had to say about it!
The top comment is on OP’s side, and also suggests that the sister probably needs therapy.
Legally, she’s not even entitled to half. I’m just saying.
She’s not much of a sister or aunt if she cares so little for her niece’s future.
They all hope this woman understands she’s in no way a jerk.
Maybe OP should have been a little more petty.
I have to say, I’m so mad this woman even thought for one second that she should give into this kind of manipulation.
What’s your take? We want to hear it in the comments!