Want to Solve These Seemingly Dirty Riddles? Get Your Mind out of the Gutter!

Photo Credit: Pixabay

These 17 riddles from AskReddit all sound pretty dirty at first, but almost none of the answers are.

Scroll to the bottom for the answers.



I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?


What’s messy and can be really annoying and/or tricky to clean up after sex?


Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn’t a maiden for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?


I start with a “v” and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I?


You play with me at night before going to sleep. You can’t get caught fiddling with me at work. You only let a select few people touch me. What am I?


Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What am I?

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0


I start with a “p” and end with “o-r-n,” and I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?


What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?


What does a dog do that a man steps into?


What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.


It’s a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?


What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0


What’s long and hard and has cum in it?


What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?


What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?


I’m at least six inches long. I love it wet and foamy when I get to do my job. What am I?


What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?


1: Strawberry.

2: Feelings

3: The Titanic

4: Her voice

5: Cell phone

6: A last name

7: Popcorn

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0

8: Talk

9: Pants

10: Coconut

11: Facebook

12: Seatbelt

13: Cucumber

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0

14: Legs

15: Fork

16: Toothbrush

17: Eraser

Sources: 1, 2, 3

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