Most of us, when we read that headline, are going to be prepared to say yes. No one wants to be kicked out of a house, especially with nowhere else to go, but what happens when an argument leaves one or both parties needing some space?
OP begins his post talking about how important adoption is in his family. It’s a common thing, and even his younger brother became a part of their family at the age of seven.
In their family, there is no difference between kids, regardless of how they joined the family.
So adoption is pretty common in my family. I probably have more adopted cousins than biological ones, tho I can’t say for sure since it really doesn’t matter in my family. My (22M) younger brother (15M) was adopted by my parents when he was 7, our dads were close and he used to come round a lot.
His parents split when he was about 5 due to his mom’s drug problem and she ended up in jail a few months later because of it. His dad then passed due to medical issues when he was 7 and my parents took him in because he would have gone into the system.
So he’s lived with us since I was 14 and I do see him as my little brother and we are family. His bio mom is still around but isn’t allowed to see him.
He’s been with his girlfriend for a couple of years, but the issue of adoption only came up recently. She made a comment about how her sister was “cheating” by adopting a child instead of choosing to have one of her own.
When OP said his brother was adopted she immediately stopped referring to him as OP’s brother.
The problem comes in with my girlfriend, we have been together for 2 years and we’ve met each other’s families and we have gotten in great with them. About a month ago she came to me complaining about how her sister is adopting. Saying it was cheating especially since she doesn’t have any fertility issues.
I told her that it doesn’t matter if the kid is adopted or not and that my brother is adopted. She didn’t say anything else to me about it after that.
However she has stopped calling my brother my brother, she just calls him by his name.
Things came to a head after OP’s girlfriend told a mutual friend that, if they were to get married, OP’s brother wouldn’t really be her brother because he was adopted.
Yesterday she and her friend (who is also my friend and introduced us) and was talking about she is so happy that my parents will be her in-laws.
He agreed and said that my parents and my brother would make great in-laws, she then “corrected” him and told him that my brother wouldn’t be her in-law since he’s adopted.
The friend told OP what she had said and they got into an argument about it. At some point she told him to leave, but he replied that it was his house too and if she was the one with an issue, she should be the one to go.
He had no idea how to respond and ended up telling me about it. This caused an argument between us with me saying my brother is my brother and her insisting that he isn’t and that there is a difference.
She told me to sleep somewhere else that night. I told her no, this is my home too and if she has the issue she should sleep somewhere else.
This caused her to scream at me, calling me manipulative and abusive before leaving to sleep at her parent’s.
She did, but now her family are harassing him and he’s wondering if he was out of line.
Her dad, who I really get along with has asked to speak with me and I’ve gotten some aggressive messages from some other members of her family. I didn’t think I was in the wrong but with so many people upset with me I think I might be.
I brought it up so maybe I should have left, so AITA?
What does Reddit think? I bet they’re going to tell us, no holds barred!
They think, across the board, that he needs to dump her (for starters).
Basically, OP will only be the TA if he stays with her.
Then there’s this very good question…
We can’t believe there are still people out there who think like OP.
Family is who you choose. Full stop.
Lots of the time, chosen family is far better for us than blood. I’m just saying.
Would you even bother calling your girlfriend back in this situation? Because I don’t think I would!