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Most of us have been there…
I’m talking about having roommates that are…well, let’s just say “interesting.”
See if any of your roommate stories stack up against these submitted by folks on AskReddit.
1. Ugh!
“Came home from my first day of classes to p**p everywhere.
Toilet seat, tile, bath mat, toilet paper holder, sink, carpet.
Had a long discussion. Not acceptable.
Happened again, took 6 weeks to get her out.
2. Not cool.
“First college roommate rarely did laundry and would “borrow” my underwear – especially for dates – and return them dirty (unwashed).
I told him in unequivocal terms to keep his hands off my junk, but he’d borrow whatever he needed anyway.”
3. I’d lose my mind.
“I spent over a year falling asleep to the angry, muffled, whisper-but-not-really arguments between my roomie and his girlfriend.
Just muffled enough that I couldn’t understand what the problem was, but they were clearly not happy together.
So I’d just lie in bed wondering, what’s my duty of care here? Like they weren’t violent with each other, and it wasn’t like one person was terrorizing the other, it was just two young people in a consensual and mutual spiral of despair.”
4. How does this work?
“My college roommate didn’t know how to do laundry before we started school. We had a community washer and dryer on our floor. Probably the third week of school, I went down to get a soda from the machine and I walk in and there are bubbles four inches deep on the floor.
My roommate walks in behind me to check his laundry. He had put 3 full scoops of Tide in the washer with his load. I had to take him to an off campus laundromat to wash all of the excess soap out of his clothes.”
5. Paranoid.
“I had a college roommate who was obsessed with CSI.
She had a CSI pillow and sheets/blankets. She refused to turn on any lights and kept all the blinds shut.
She h**ed light and would sigh loudly if I would turn the lights on to do anything. I went to college right around when you needed a college email to make a Facebook, and she would tell me that Facebook is how they spy on you… she said she would never have a MySpace or anything of the like.
(She might have been right on that one) and she would always say I was a sheep and that I would have my identity stolen by “them”.”
6. Repressed.
“Lived in a dorm with this Mormon guy who just came home from being a missionary. He was the most s**ually repressed person I’d ever seen.
This dude had never heard of ma**urbating. He’d stay up until like 2 in the morning looking at girls’ Facebook photos and muttering “oh man, she’s so hot”.
He was super creepy around women, he’d sit next to them and try and put his arm over their shoulders. He had real creepy, r**ey vibes, and he also had some kind of fungus that stunk up the apartment, so I got the f**k out the next semester.”
7. Still owes me money…
“I went to UC Santa Cruz and when I was a junior, my housemate and I had a situation with our third housemate that left us in a bind where we needed to find a new third quickly before the 1st of the month when rent was due.
We went on Craigslist and ended up with this guy.. He said he was a hairdresser, and he actually was. Unfortunately that wasn’t his only gig. We all lived together for 4 months. Things started going south pretty quickly and he kept having trouble coming up with the money to pay rent.
Finally things in the house got so bad that I told our landlord that I thought my housemate and I were in danger and could he please let us out of our rental agreement early. He took pity on us and agreed. That last month Stew never gave me his share of rent or utilities, but he kept telling me he would get the money soon.
The last time I talked to him, he said he was going to get the money that night. You can guess by the article what happened that night. I never heard from him again. B**tard still owes me money.”
8. Yikes.
“My roommate in first year started doing s** work, and we had to have the “please don’t bring random men to our dorm room” talk.
Aside from it being really really against the rules of the residence we lived in, I got propositioned by her sugar daddy/pimp, for a threesome, and was feeling unsafe with the whole situation.”
9. The exorcist.
“I had a very religious roommate once named Mike, who thought I was religious too, I guess, and he would often exclaim things like, “OMG KITTENKLYN! There’s so many people outside! We should be EVANGELIZING!”
He would never read any books except the Bible, literally, and he would often pray right in the middle of the common space on his hands and knees. Weird guy, but he always paid his rent on time, kept his dishes clean, and it’s hard to find roommates.
Anyway, one day while I was reading a book in the living room, Mike came out looking very concerned and asked to talk.
“I think there’s a demon living in this house,” he said.
I’m the kind of person who likes to “Yes/And” people, especially when they say something a little crazy. So I asked him to tell me more.
“Well,” he started, “Last night I had a dream- no, not a dream, a nightmare. A snake was choking me, and I was fighting with it-” he exaggerated hand movements a little aggressively to demonstrate his wrestling. “Finally I threw it off of me, but then I realized I was awake, so I sat up and looked over at your side of the bed, and that’s when I saw it”
“Saw what?” I asked, more excited by the second.
“The demon. The dark cloud man was just standing next to your bed, watching you sleep. He was like a cloudy shadow with white eyes. I think it’s possessing the house.”
Amazed by what he was saying, I asked what we should do about it.
“Have an exorcism”
I almost spit out my drink. “Well, I’ve never done that before -”
“I have,” he interrupted. So I was like, well if you say so.
Anyway, basically he had blessed holy water (from the tap) and was walking around the room tossing it here and there yelling, “IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE, DEMON!!”
Meanwhile, I’m trying not to laugh for the whole 30 minutes until he finishes, he’s literally sweating in prayer, and finally stands up to say “It is done,” and walks to his room. We never talked about it ever again.”
10. Messy.
“He crossed out the cleaning section of our roommate agreement in college saying “whatever we don’t need this right?” And I just kind of rolled with it.
You could see a clear line in the floor between the sides of our room. He was super messy but not dirty (I’m pretty messy too just a little less so) and if my next roommate didn’t go on to be my literal best friend then this guy would have been my favorite roommate.
He was so different than me – he was an art student who was really outgoing and had tons of fun stories and ended up putting a 6’ x 6’ biggie painting that he made for a project and it was just so dope. I felt so boring in comparison to him that he probably doesn’t even remember me lol
Steve, if you’re out there, I hope you’re doing really well!!”
11. Over the top.
“Senior year of college I lived with 8 other students in a house, girls upstairs and boys downstairs.
One time the boys were really rowdy so I went downstairs to check it out and this girl from my literature class was beating in their fridge door with a fire extinguisher.
I think I’ve lost the ability to be surprised after that year.”
12. Shut up!
“My freshman year roommate would think way too much when he was trying to fall asleep and wake me up all the time.
Like, “Hey man, a lot of people find the person they marry in college. What if I never find that person!!”
Or after a celebrity s**cide, “Hey man, people should never kill themselves.”
Me: “huh? It’s 2am, dude, I have class at 8. But sure, I agree.”
“Oh sorry to wake you up, go back to sleep”
Five minutes later, he wakes me up again “Unless you’re on fire, then that makes sense.””
Do you have any good roommate stories?
If so, tell us all about them in the comments.
Thanks a lot!
