On most days, servers are able to keep their cool. Working with the public, serving food and drinks, it can always get a little hairy, and on the worst of days, people get under your skin – you learn to get used to it, both for the sake of our jobs and our sanity (plus the tips).
That said, there are also times when you have to stand up for yourself and your dignity, and if you work for an employer who appreciates those who work for them, they’ll understand and look the other way when you do.
This tale of malicious compliance comes from an enamored co-worker, who tends bar with the fabulous person who knows exactly what and how much they’re willing to take.
It begins with a busy night and a customer who’s determined to ruin everyone else’s night (as jerks are wont to do).
I’ve worked in bars for years and this has to be one of the best “f*** yeah!” moments of my time.
I worked with this guy who was always on it. Super smart, never lost for words, very funny and genuinely one of the most professional bartenders I’ve worked with. This was an exceptional night. We worked 2 to a station on really busy nights (like 3/4 deep kinda night) so I had a front row seat to this gem:
Greasy douchebag is waiting in front of our station with his elbow on the bar not facing us. Getting a little annoyed that he is blocking people getting served, Sam taps him on the arm, “Hey, man! You want anything?”
“In a sec, mate.” as he shoos him off and continues greasing on this drunk girl.
The second bartender has no time for it, asking the guy to order or get out of the way of all of the people who do want to order.
He orders a Coke, and the bartender replies with style.
Starting to change his attitude, Sam quips back “You are blocking people from the bar, man. Shit or get off the pot!” (oooo… I start to slow down. Where’s this going??)
Greasy douche face screws up and looks Sam up and down.
“Gimme a Coke” he barks with no manners.Sam whips a glass behind his back and catches it in his left hand, ice in the glass, glass on the bar and throws a straw in the air as he pours Coke from the soda gun.
“$2.50 thanks” as Sam spins around an enters it into the till.
The guy, however, is not done being a douche.
He complains about the ice in his drink, which he “didn’t order.”
Douche is staring at the drink….. “What is this?”
“A Coke… as you asked.” Sam said with impatience and vex.
“That is not what I asked for…” he responded. “… If I wanted ice, I would have asked for ice!” pushing the glass back at Sam.
Sam picks up the glass with both hands and did something that I was not expecting. He apologised!
The other bartender apologized…but of course that isn’t the end of the story.
“You are so right! I am so sorry! How stupid of me! Let me fix that for you.”
Sam grabs the soda gun, pours Coke all over the bar counter. The douche jerks his arm away, not because he notices it, but because his shirt getting wet. His anger, palpable.
“If you wanted a fucking glass, you would have asked for one!” Sam spouts as he throws a straw in the puddle, turns his back, walks off and flips the bird.
This is amazing, and I don’t know a server in the world who isn’t grinning and wishing they’d had the opportunity to pull something like this in their day.
Be careful what you ask for, my friends. You never know when your server is at the end of their patience and will give you exactly what you asked for – and nothing more!
