Here’s the truth: some couples are totally cool with each doing solo vacations and some DEFINITELY are not.
And for the folks who aren’t cool with it, things can get ugly sometimes…
So is this woman an a**hole for getting upset with her husband about his solo trip?
Take a look at what she had to say and let us know what you think.
AITA for being upset by my husband’s solo vacation travel?
“I (40F) have a wonderful, loving husband (40M).
He is an involved father, he pitches in with the housework, and he makes enough money for us to be very comfortable while I stay home with our two young children. (I worked before kids and intend to again once they’re both school age.) He’s the love of my life.
He’s wonderful – when he’s here.
He has a dear friend living in a different city 5 hours away, who he usually visits for 2-3 days twice a month. A few time a year they tend to take longer (4-6 day) trips. It adds up to a lot of time away, but it’s in manageable increments and in service to an important friendship that I wouldn’t want him to miss out on.
Last Fall they took a 2 week trip abroad. I knew about it well in advance and was fine with it. I figured it was a one-every-few-years sort of thing.
A month or so after that trip, he tells me they’re planning another overseas trip for this Spring. This time, it’s a place I’ve always wanted to go; we had previously started to plan a trip there ourselves, but decided it would have to wait until the kids were older.
I told him I wasn’t happy but somewhat grudgingly gave my blessing to what was supposed to be a 7-10 day trip. Same goes for another 5-7 day trip abroad they decided to plan for this Summer, again to a place we had previously talked about going together when kids are older.
And then I found out that first the Spring trip and then the Summer trip had ballooned into 3 weeks each. I got upset. I cried and told him I felt betrayed and abandoned, like he was leaving me here to raise the kids (both trips will now cause him to miss significant kid-related events he knew about before planning) while he just goes on doing what he wants and living his life without me.
He found my response really hurtful, that I would act like he’s abandoning me and the kids, and said that he deserves to have meaningful friendships and see beautiful things.
Am I being unreasonable about this? I feel like I might be, because I haven’t done a good job balancing parenthood and my own social life (I basically don’t have one anymore) and worry I might be speaking from a place of envy than fairness.
And we do also take other trips together as a family. But two months of international travel in the span of a year seems like a lot. And when you also add on the bi-monthly hanging out, that’s about 4 months out of town with his friend.
I can count on one hand the number of solo days out I’ve had in the last 3 years with any of my friends, and so again I’m not sure how much this is envy vs unfairness?”
Check out how folks reacted on Reddit.
One person said she’s NTA but she’s not acknowledging what’s really going on here.
Another individual said her husband is gaslighting her.
And this Reddit user made it very clear what’s really going on here.
What do you think about this story?
Let us know in the comments.
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