11 Transgender People Show How Hard It Can Be to Come Out

Image credit: Whisper

There are some things that I think it’s just impossible to fully understand without experiencing it. Like, what it’s like to be an immigrant or refugee, to experience discrimination, or to break your arm–these are all things that we can imagine what they might be like. But you can’t really know, you know? Unless you’ve lived it.

Being a gender other than your own is one of those things. There are things about being a man that I couldn’t possibly understand. And men will never understand what it’s like to be a woman.

The only people who might come close to this are the transgender community, and their situation is equally hard to understand for those outside of it. But we all know what it’s like to have secrets, and how scary or stressful that can be.

Here, 11 people try to explain just how difficult life as a secretly transgender person often is.

1. Butting heads with your parents

We’ve all been there, but most of us didn’t have to worry about being disowned for it.

I'm bi and closeted trans. No one knows, especially my parents. They're way too Christian to deal with me telling them that. They won't understand or accept it. I stay in the closet because it's just better this way.

Image credit: Whisper

2. Having to change in front of everyone

It might be exciting to finally live as your true self, but any kind of public transformation is going to be terrifying.

No one knows I'm growing my hair out so I can come out as a trans girl.

Image credit: Whisper

3. And then when they do find out, what will they say?

Honestly, we’re preconditioned to care what people think. It’s really hard not to, even when it’s not their business.

I'm secetly transitioning to become a girl. No one even knows I'm trans. I'm honestly not sure how people will react to this one...

Image credit: Whisper

4. How are you supposed to tell people?

Especially when you’re still figuring it all out for yourself?

I've been slowly coming to the realization that I'm trans over the past month or so. I'm happy inthe sense that I know why I feel the way I do. However, no one knows and I don't even know how to bring it up.

Image credit: Whisper

5. You feel like a liar all the time

It’s hard, even though you’re doing it to protect yourself.

Being a closet trans and being a compulsive liar to everyone I'm close to, just to make sure they don't suspect anything or disown me, is literally the worst. No one knows the real me or how I feel.

Image credit: Whisper

6. It’s a lot — especially with an audience

It’s going to be hard under the best of circumstances, but an audience on the internet can only make it more difficult.

I have around 100k subscribers on YouTube, but no one knows that I'm a closeted, pre-transition trans person. I'm too scared to tell that many people.

Image credit: Whisper

7. People don’t even know they’re hurting you

Because they don’t know the real you. But college can be the BEST time to show who you are.

Just started college and I am closeted trans... No one knows and I hate myself more everytime someone calls me she...

Image credit: Whisper

9. It’s hardest of all when your community rejects you

Just keep being you, and you’ll find your tribe. I say wear the dress and SHOW THEM how you rock it.

As a physically white male... no one knows I also go by Alice. I want to come out as fluid, but even fellow trans people I know have told me they could never see me in a dress...

Image credit: Whisper

10. Imagine having to wait for Halloween to be yourself

I mean I guess some children really are monsters, but still. Imagine it.

The best part of Halloween is dressing up as a female character. No one knows it's because I'm trans.

Image credit: Whisper

11. Family really can be the hardest part

They’re supposed to support you. They think they know you, but you often hide yourself from them the most.

My step-dad said he'd bet money on me being gay... I'm pan and trans. No one knows that.

Image credit: Whisper

These are all a good reminder that no one chooses to be transgender.

And that no matter what, people need to be treated gently and with kindness.

Do you know what it’s like to have a secret you’re afraid to share? Tell us in the comments.